My words owe you no favors.
She, who wept off her tears before they could get noticed
Even before they could fall off her lashes
This cage formed by all those pairs of teeth
More often made hard for her to speak
Her voice which was just heard by the four walls of her mouth
Vanished just like other echos before she would let them out
Unspoken words still remain fenced
And are still making her heart heavy, anchored and drenched
Even after carrying a heart empty of what it deserved
It kept molding itself until it became eternally curved
Don’t you underestimate my strengths for I’ve been feeding them with your fears.
If beauty ever mattered there wouldn’t have been people killing themselves for not being loved.
Although we are all in the same world. But inside ourselves, we are all in a different unique world.
So, all the pain reflects our uniqueness also. And though it is not something to be proud of, but it must not stop yourself from feeling proud despite it.
And though it might at times, arouse a feeling of pity and sympathy, it must not stop yourself from feeling/realizing your own unique strengths.
And, Though the pain relects in your expressions, it calls to be addressed, and be taken positively.
While positively addressing our pains, we tend to refine and redefine ourselves gradually, and also improve and refine our view of our own selves, life and the world. And all that change will reflect in yourself, and every aspect of life.
– Long Lost Friend
Everyday you strive and beat yourself up just to do enough, have enough and be enough but why?
Why does the idea of scarcity run deep in your blood that you seldom forget that it is certainly not what you are lacking within yourself but this ‘idea of being not enough’ is what makes you believe you do? There often come times when you feel insecure and doubt yourself and rather than thinking of what you have to lend, you start digging for what all that you’re missing. You wander from person to person to find your missing pieces just to realise that they themselves do not have what you had in the first place to offer. You feel satisfied. You feel happy and contented to know that you are not the only one who’s not enough. But why?
Why do you seek other people and try to justify your own existence? Didn’t you know that all other people are not your solutions, they’re just more questions which are not yours to answer. Just because you haven’t found the right purpose for life doesn’t mean you don’t have one. Maybe the terms you are measuring your struggle in might not be the right ones. You are and have always been enough but only for yourself. You will not be who you are until you don’t accept what lacks within and if you’ll try to validate your worth by someone else’s standards, you’ll never be enough. Please don’t let this idea of scarcity drive your fears and desires.
I might not be where you want me to be
I might not have what you want me to breed
How can you compare me to the rose beside
When all I am is a wildflower seed.
I might never be as pretty as her crimson red
I might always lack a fragnance, of love, to spread
But she still possesses thorns to make you bleed,
I am and always will be a wildflower seed,
Trying to spread all across an open field.
क्या उस भोली मासूम की गलती थी
जिसकी उधेड़ दी तुमने चमड़ी थी
क्यों डर ना खाया उस भगवान का तुमने
जिसके घर ही तड़पी उसकी लड़की थी
ना देखा धर्म ना देखे जात
ऐ हैवान तु देख ही लेता जज़्बात
8 साल की जान बिचारी देख हव्स से कितना लड़ी
फिर आज तेरी मर्दानी बता कैसे हुई औरत से बड़ी ?
Even after the darkest of nights there is a moonlight. After a rainy day there’s a rainbow. After digging through dirt and mud, diamonds are found and after surviving this world full of hardships, heaven can still be where you can ground.
So why do you harm yourself ? Why do you self destruct yourself like there’s no tomorrow ? Why do you connive acts which are so brutal while in sorrow?
Today is maybe hard but you only have to go through this one day dark and then tomorrow and after, you have thousand days and million chances to smile and may happiness hits you hard enough to push you another mile.
You may not understand why you’ve put through what you are, but soon you’ll look back and you’ll realise you’ve come so far. And the reasons for why you had to face them now will be enough for you to realise how much you’ve outgrown.
Again on the same road, I walking all alone
Right in the middle of diversions, I stand to find my way back home
where innocence wasn’t a mystery and love wasn’t weighed as gold,
where happiness wasn’t traded and bodies weren’t sold.
where laughter ended in tears and cries raised our hopes
where I slept most peacefully and the dreams I saw were my own.
Let my words form a pillow like the one you drenched last night,
After you counted those endless stars in sky while you cried.
Let them spread like the warmth you seek in the winter midnights,
When you’re still too afraid of thunders and lightenings that fright.
And even those rays of sun you want to wrap around your skin,
when you keep yourself awake for too long just to fix all the brittles within.
Once I want to dive deep into your thoughts
Let me drown once to see the bottom troughs
I hope you shallow mind is not narrow
That if you find yourself in my place you’d die of sorrow.
I bet if you dusted her mind for thoughts, you’ll find things that can’t be put into words.
Do not weep for what’s long gone from within me,
Envy the flowers I’ll grow with all your tears shed.
When I slept endlessly, I dreamt endlessly
and how my soul started parting from my body is still a mystery to me.
They both knew they were good off each other but never realised
until they came to know that the reality is not the one in which they survive
but can be whichever where they can live with pride
I still wonder if it did justice to my mind
by keeping it breathe in dilemma from time to time
but then finally I let them go.
Let them put their lives for a show.
So, the world where my soul resides
is different now because she chose to fly
and I guess the only way to keep her off the ground was to keep her in the world of my own mind.
It was tough before
but now she has learnt not to wake up anymore.
I still try hard to keep her alive by sleeping with her at nights and sing to her her favourite lullabies.
And the other world where my body lies
is still the same filled with grief, pain and cries
All because of shame stacked on hundreds of failed tries
But how no option other than not dying still makes her wickedly grin
is an evidence of putting up a good fight in a game which was toughest to win.
Eyes of shades aqya and cyan
Beside me under the sunshine, I’d want him to be my morning alarm
I tried too hard to hold his hand
But always got it slipping like grains of sand
Smell of coconut with a pinch of salt
With every glimpse of his, my breaths came to halt
Voice like rocks getting shuddered by waves
I’d sit for years listening to him like a slave
To reach his heart I kept rowing my boat
But who knew I’d have to drown in order to make my love float.
Don’t get angry when people don’t love you or understand you the way you do. They have limits established by personal experiences and knowledge. No one can fully see through you because human brains and souls are filled up with mysteries and miseries, puzzles and plots, thoughts, memories and more than that pasts. They can never know whole of you just because they haven’t been through what you are coming from and sometimes the only handful of people that really empathize with you, does so by depending on how much their wounds are healed and sealed. The fact of coming from similar kinds of sentiments is the key that builds strong relationships with others. So next time if they fail to understand you or why you’ve been feeling in a certain way in which they can’t or they haven’t, give them a chance to subsume you so that you don’t fail on your part by preventing them from crossing their bars to learn, to understand how souls work. Let them atleast experience you once, let them know how it feels like to have gone through so much and still be able to appreciate the slightest of the changes.
Isn’t it strange that at times you feel so empty and at the same time so heavy from the inside that you want to flush out all those storms raging in you.Empty in a way that you feel you are worth nothing. Empty in a way that you feel you have nothing to hold on to. The anguish building up inside you wants you to shout all the anger, despair, sadness and disappointments out that you’ve been captivating in yourself. No matter how much you try to pick yourself up after every fall, you break, you lose some of your pieces and they go missing forever. They say ’empty vessels make noise’ but what about you love? Why didn’t you scream? Is that the reason why you’ve been burning yourself up from the inside because you have been trying to consume within you even the slightest of your whispers. But yet every morning you wake up, trying to win over the hangover you face because of every last night, yet you keep going and yet you keep surviving and not living.
I knew it was getting worse when I started sorting my days into bad and bearable.
Call me insecure if you want but know that why I don’t let my eyes meet yours is for I fear you’ll have a glimpse of all the people I ever used to be and yet you’ll judge me for what I’ve left long ago.
Call me an introvert but let me tell you why I behold my tongue is because it may tell you my secrets of the past and the present and all you’ll do is belittle me for what I once spoke and yet my words of wisdom will be mistaken for a thing called ego.
Call me ignorant too just because I pay less attention to what you say for I know of the all things you’ll ever tell me, the only things that will root in my head, grow and bloom into flowers are going to be of hate.
If not all of them, call me inhuman for concealing my emotions in myself, my skin and even deep within not because I’ve been hiding all the scratches and harms but because the skin I wear is the same I once wore like a torn blanket which still carries patches stitched to it I found from all the places I ever called home, just keep myself warm.
Time, at times healed me
At others torn me asunder
But little did I know I’d grow wonders from those blunders.
Her words seek forgiveness from the soul which was long lost within her.
I compare his eyes to the stars as they both come to life when it is dark.
How many faces do you hide under that same piece of skin ?
I thought I was lost in the bokeh of your memories until I found myself.
How stupid of me for knocking at the doors of people with filthy hearts and craving for shelter even after knowing that I had a place with a name on the nameplate that will always claim to be mine, a place with a doormat that will always say “welcome home” and a place which will always feed my hunger with food of love it craves for.
If you’ve found what all I left in the spaces between my phrases, then probably you’ve known too much of me.
Someday I’ll write about happy times too. But first I must survive all the midnight blues.
Now you can take this heart away in turn of returning me back the very first thing you ever took from me, MY OLD SELF.
How can they tell me that I ask for too much when I’m already living a life at it’s least ?
It’s all about your perspective,
It’s all about what you choose to assume
Because what all I want to feed you
May not always be what you want to consume.
You look in the mirror and see yourself. There are your eyes, your nose and your cute little smile, but thats not all there is to you because you’re not seeing the amount of lives you’ve touched with your presence. You are not seeing the amount of people you’ve made smile or laugh and even those battles you’ve overcome are hidden beneath your outside features. What about your sadness, your happiness, your strengths and your weaknesses and definately all those struggles which have made you who you are today? How can they be seen?
So next time you look up to yourself in a mirror, remember you are more than a reflection. You are so complex and exceptionally brilliant that a mirror doesn’t have the capability to show.
Don’t you underestimate my strengths for I’ve been feeding them with your fears.
The bullets she spilled through her eyes for everytime he doubted her was one of her ways to shoot him down.
How can I forget the time that has made me
I might be running on blood
But my bones are now made of hard steel
And my mind is a battlefield where I no longer keep thoughts of putting myself down
I’ve grown ,I’ve taken courage from God as loan
So nowadays I lock my cage up to no longer let them reach
A treasure they call ‘heart’ is now filled with greed
The words my mouth spills now were once beyond my ken
At moments they hog like a lion coming out of his den
Strong and fierce, loud and shriek
I’m not falling again, anything but weak.
Your love was like a drug which caught me so strong
On which I was always high on
Devastating yet tasted so sweet
Consuming it felt even better than when I was high on weed
Your breaths around my neck were like rings of smoke
Rushing from my lungs to veins, they gave me strange hope
Every time when my melancholies took me over
I urged for your being, Don’t you ever leave me sober.
Watch with awe as it unfolds
Because I’ve got stories of the untold
When the visions fill within you
I bet all your misguided melancholy will turn blue.
Try keep pulling me
Like I am meant to be all your own
But let me tell you my love
I am an ocean all grown
Under the moonlight
When I rise with all my force
More of my desires
get better of my nerves
Suddenly the waves shudder
and when the tides get low
Will they ever come up again
Or will they remain in their gloom
Was the wind so dark
Or was the moon so grey
That made the tides vanish
and I fell as your prey
But look how beautiful is it to know
that both the tides and the moon
are never intended to meet
No matter how much they want it to be
No matter how much they need
That’s what it is like of wanting to have you a little more
Even till my last breath if I urged to reach you,
I know I’m always gonna fall for shore .